I went to the cinema the other night and after going quite regularly for the last couple of years i have noticed a trend. The same trend that extends to cinemas all over the country. Firstly there is the common problem of chavs. Small groups of lads and ladettes phoning each other and talking through the whole film. Why pay five quid to phone your mates when you can do it for free at home? Have they not seen the BT adverts with that dopey lad who is shagging the middle aged woman with 400 kids. I dont think she actually has 400 kids but every advert seems to be filled with little children running around so either they have lots of friends or that dopey lad is a pedo. Secondly why the fuck does it take a pensioner three hours to open a boiled sweet. For fuck sake next week bring a pack of sweets without wrappers so i can hear the film. And thirdly why the hell does the tallest person in the cinema always sit in front of you. There are 400 empty seats so he chooses the one that cuts out my view of jessica alba's tits. Leaving the cinema is also a problem because all those chavs that have now run out of phone credit are now loitering around the doors and have you noticed they always stand with girls on one side and lads on the other. is this some kind of tribal ritual or do they all just look the same to me? There is only one answer for this problem and that is for you to just stay at home. Let's face it it's probably going to be on DVD in a week or TV the week after.